Create More Success Blog
If not now, when?How to Win Any Argument (And Get What You Really Want)
The fabric of your relationships is fragile.
The words you use either sew the stitches tighter together, or loosen the seams until the fraying threads can barely hold themselves together.
The wrong words can rip people apart and make them wonder if they ever had anything in common at all, the right ones can draw people closer and make them wonder how they ever lived apart.
Your words are potent; used well, they can prove your argument, make others look up to you, and help you get what you want most from life. Used in anger or malice, they can cause more long term damage than a physical beating.
Even the blackest bruises one day fade; a scarred soul is torn forever.
Being able to control the language you use, regardless of setting, is a guaranteed way to become a more powerful, more confident you; a you who will be closer to those you love and able to pull more from life’s magic hat.
Use these three tips to make sure you’re using the right words to help create a better, more confident you.
Always Show Respect
When you are confident in your ideas, your language and tone should reflect it. Never barrel over another person when they are speaking, just to make yourself heard. By taking the time and patience to state your case well, you can demonstrate a quiet authority over most situations.
Using your words well isn’t about getting your way, it’s about making your case in a way that is difficult to argue with that will leave the people around you nodding in respect or questioning their own position.
Calmly listen to everything the other person is saying. Validate their perspective by highlighting any points you agree with first, then you can intelligently and respectfully rebut their position.
By listening first, you will always be able to make a clearer, more cogent argument.
Always show the same respect you would expect to be given to you and you will be on the winning end of most arguments without even trying, especially if the other person is the one flying off the handle.
Understand Your Power
Words can be a cool caress or a stinging slap. Never allow your anger in a moment to dictate the direction of your dialogue. Of course your mood will influence your tone, but choosing your words with care will get you more from most situations than simply barking like a dog with the first words that fly into your mind.
Words have individual value, and selecting the right sequence can affect your entire exchange. Never use hurtful language, when articulate and explanatory language will do. Use the right sequence of sentences to steer the conversation in the best possible direction.
The person who controls the conversation, controls the outcome. Speak softly and think about your words before you say them, and you will be more likely to get what you want.
Be Sincere
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
There is never any point in empty sentences. If you apologize, mean it. Otherwise keep your mouth closed.
Sincerity breeds credibility. If you’re known for your honesty, people will be more interested in hearing you speak. If you are known for a general lack of sincerity, your words will have the value of Monopoly money.
Too much exaggeration, a dismissive tone, or lack of eye contact are all sour notes in the tune of sincerity. Demonstrating true sincerity means you are interested in what others are saying, validating of their ideas and in control of your language.
Once you understand the value of your words and have practice using them, you will be able to capture the more confident you that you’ve always wanted to be.
Sean Platt is an author and professional ghostwriter, and part of the crew
at the lifestyle design site, Your Life’s Blueprint. Life’s better when you
Something I thought you might like…
Something that I thought you might like…
Day 36: All Habits Are Impossible To Break If You Do This
Written by Cindy Platt Published on November 28, 2010 – 3 Comments
Categories: 90 days
“There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction.”
~ Winston ChurchillWhen was the last time you changed things in your world?
Taking the time to evaluate where you are in the hustle and bustle of life can help you gain the perspective you need to make the small adjustments that will improve your quality of life and enhance your confidence.
When you make a plan and set a goal for 30 days, you will be manufacturing a means to find a much more capable, confident you by the end of the month.
1. Choose a hobby. There is no shortage of hobbies to choose from. Rock climbing, jogging, pottery, cooking, photography. Any activity that engages your mind and holds your attention is well worth your minutes. Hobbies are an investment of time and usually require a certain skill. Take an inventory of your interests, then research your choice and socialize with people that have the same interests. With passion and a desire to enjoy something new, you’ll be well on your way to a happy mind.
2. Learn a new language. Learning to speak, read and write in a new language is a humbling, empowering experience. All you need is a willingness to work hard and practice your skills individually and with others. Choosing a country where your new language is represented is a great incentive to consider so that you can immerse yourself into the language, culture and people.
3. Read every day. Make a pact with yourself to read something that isn’t work related each day or night for 30 days straight. Language is powerful, and books deliver many messages and scenarios that help you travel in your mind. The sky is the limit with a book in your lap.
4. Eat well. Choosing a healthy diet doesn’t mean you need to be unrealistically thin or depriving yourself. It is about simplifying, having more energy and feeling great. The way you choose your food says a lot about who you are and how you feel. Adopting the habits of a healthy eater will improve your health, sharpen your memory, stabilize your mood, and boost your energy levels. Make a monthly meal calendar with healthy choices and stick with it for 30 days. See how great you will feel at the end of the month!
5. Finding an exercise regime that works. Being active and staying in shape boosts your mood, sex drive, and makes your body happy. Exercise helps you maintain a strong body, mind and spirit. Find a form of exercise you can maintain for the rest of your life and make your move today.
6. Avoid negative people. This is not always easy in the work place, but as a general rule choose friends or people you socialize with carefully. If you find yourself trapped by people with negative energy, remove yourself from the situation and lose the guilt. Shift your mindset by surrounding yourself with positive minded people.
7. Meditate for 10 minutes every day. Research shows meditation sharpens mental focus, empowers you over emotions, and enhances your life with a positive sense of well being. Meditation is a means to rid the negative forces in your mind and give you clarity. Light a candle and carve out 10 minutes a day for this simple practice. It will change your state of mind for a lifetime.
8. Early to bed. Getting a good night’s sleep is the only way your body and brain can recharge their batteries. Denying yourself the 8-10 hours an adult needs, affects your ability to learn and remember, not to mention it dims the longevity of your life.
9. Early to rise. Your productivity will be higher and you will have a greater sense of well being when you wake up early. Sure, it may be hard for the first 10 minutes, but there is a direct correlation between successful people and rising early in the morning.
10. Create an inspirational space. The way your room looks will dictate how you will feel about yourself and life. Take pride in your space by creating a room that is inviting and reflective of who you are. Taking charge of your personal space and surrounding your soul with positive colors will ground your thoughts and keep your energy flowing in a positive direction.
There is always room for self-improvement. Finding the courage to create a difference in your life will give you self-confidence and help you shift your mental makeup for a much more vibrant you!
Cindy Platt is a parenting specialist who writes at Your Life’s Blueprint. Follow her on Twitter.
Tags: bad behavior, breaking bad habits, good behavior, how to be more confident, how to break bad habits, pickthebrain, productivity tips, self improvementWhat Would You Do If You Could Never Fail Again?
Something that I thought you might like…
Day 36: All Habits Are Impossible To Break If You Do This
Written by Cindy Platt Published on November 28, 2010 – 3 Comments
Categories: 90 days
“There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction.”
~ Winston ChurchillWhen was the last time you changed things in your world?
Taking the time to evaluate where you are in the hustle and bustle of life can help you gain the perspective you need to make the small adjustments that will improve your quality of life and enhance your confidence.
When you make a plan and set a goal for 30 days, you will be manufacturing a means to find a much more capable, confident you by the end of the month.
1. Choose a hobby. There is no shortage of hobbies to choose from. Rock climbing, jogging, pottery, cooking, photography. Any activity that engages your mind and holds your attention is well worth your minutes. Hobbies are an investment of time and usually require a certain skill. Take an inventory of your interests, then research your choice and socialize with people that have the same interests. With passion and a desire to enjoy something new, you’ll be well on your way to a happy mind.
2. Learn a new language. Learning to speak, read and write in a new language is a humbling, empowering experience. All you need is a willingness to work hard and practice your skills individually and with others. Choosing a country where your new language is represented is a great incentive to consider so that you can immerse yourself into the language, culture and people.
3. Read every day. Make a pact with yourself to read something that isn’t work related each day or night for 30 days straight. Language is powerful, and books deliver many messages and scenarios that help you travel in your mind. The sky is the limit with a book in your lap.
4. Eat well. Choosing a healthy diet doesn’t mean you need to be unrealistically thin or depriving yourself. It is about simplifying, having more energy and feeling great. The way you choose your food says a lot about who you are and how you feel. Adopting the habits of a healthy eater will improve your health, sharpen your memory, stabilize your mood, and boost your energy levels. Make a monthly meal calendar with healthy choices and stick with it for 30 days. See how great you will feel at the end of the month!
5. Finding an exercise regime that works. Being active and staying in shape boosts your mood, sex drive, and makes your body happy. Exercise helps you maintain a strong body, mind and spirit. Find a form of exercise you can maintain for the rest of your life and make your move today.
6. Avoid negative people. This is not always easy in the work place, but as a general rule choose friends or people you socialize with carefully. If you find yourself trapped by people with negative energy, remove yourself from the situation and lose the guilt. Shift your mindset by surrounding yourself with positive minded people.
7. Meditate for 10 minutes every day. Research shows meditation sharpens mental focus, empowers you over emotions, and enhances your life with a positive sense of well being. Meditation is a means to rid the negative forces in your mind and give you clarity. Light a candle and carve out 10 minutes a day for this simple practice. It will change your state of mind for a lifetime.
8. Early to bed. Getting a good night’s sleep is the only way your body and brain can recharge their batteries. Denying yourself the 8-10 hours an adult needs, affects your ability to learn and remember, not to mention it dims the longevity of your life.
9. Early to rise. Your productivity will be higher and you will have a greater sense of well being when you wake up early. Sure, it may be hard for the first 10 minutes, but there is a direct correlation between successful people and rising early in the morning.
10. Create an inspirational space. The way your room looks will dictate how you will feel about yourself and life. Take pride in your space by creating a room that is inviting and reflective of who you are. Taking charge of your personal space and surrounding your soul with positive colors will ground your thoughts and keep your energy flowing in a positive direction.
There is always room for self-improvement. Finding the courage to create a difference in your life will give you self-confidence and help you shift your mental makeup for a much more vibrant you!
Cindy Platt is a parenting specialist who writes at Your Life’s Blueprint. Follow her on Twitter.
Tags: bad behavior, breaking bad habits, good behavior, how to be more confident, how to break bad habits, pickthebrain, productivity tips, self improvementWhat Would You Do If You Could Never Fail Again?
Create More Success is on YouTube
Some of the most useful videos you can watch to help create more success in your professional life, by using RSS. Whether you have no idea what RSS even is or you are pretty sure that you got it down, this video from Duane Langley of createmoresuccess.com, will open your mind to a whole new world of RSS and its many uses. Learn to create more success for yourself by watching this 3 part video series on RSS. In this first video, Duane gives the basics of RSS and using Google Reader.
Older entries »Duane Langley Launches Create More Success and the Create More Success Blog
This my first post to my new site, Create More Success (or CMS.) I wanted to explain quickly how the site was born, how it will be a great benefit to you and how it will help you to create more success in your life.
I have heard over and over from many different people from many different backgrounds that they ‘feel successful already’ or, that they ‘feel as though they have achieved some level of success in their lives.’ Of course I have heard from ten times as many people that they still are trying to achieve ‘some level, any level, please God anything level of success.’ The number one most frequent sentence that followed (in some form or another) was ‘but, I can’t seem to figure out how to create more success.’
Since I can’t take every one of them on as a client (OTMC doesn’t open the “everyone” department until next year) I started Create More Success in December, 2009. I wanted to get it up and running in time for the New Year, the New Decade.
Create More Success is an educational and informational site specializing in helping people create more success in their professional and personal lives. There will be a great deal of tools, resources, strategies, exercises, products and much more. You may also check out the Create More Success Blog, where I tell more personal accounts, give you success quotes and quotes on success and gather the best of what other experts are saying as well.
I hope you find Create More Success and the Create More Success Blog to be helpful in your quest to create more success. Feel free to contribute, as well. I would love for you to share your experiences and stories.
Duane Langley is the owner of On The Map Consulting (Small Business Consulting/Internet Marketing) and the founder of both D-books Online (informational site dedicated to helping people self publish books) and Create More Success (informational site dedicated to teaching people to create more success.) When he isn’t busy working, he is always looking for more time to watch, write and make films.
Duane Langley
Duane Langley is the owner of On The Map Consulting (Small Business Consulting/Internet Marketing) and the founder of both D-books Online (informational site dedicated to helping people self publish books) and Create More Success (informational site dedicated to teaching people to create more success.) When he isn't busy working, he is always looking for more time to watch, write and make films.
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